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The Disappearing Act: Don’t hide from tough decisions

 

The concept is simple but the consequences are endless. It should have been named a sin. Let me explain…

Just last week I was amazed yet again by this phenomenon. One of our clients made a market related offer to a candidate. As she is expecting an increase from her current company in only a couple of months, she decided it doesn’t make sense for her and declined the offer. The next day they came back with a revised offer even though she was already offered the maximum they could put on the table first time round. This was in line with the rest of the team’s earnings. They matched her expectations and in the end, they gave her exactly what she wanted. We phoned with the good news and what followed for the rest of the day was one thing and one thing only, silence.

People think if they keep quiet, they can’t be held responsible for things. They think if they disappear, problems will magically vanish into thin air. They think if they don’t do something, no one will notice and they will manage to fly under the radar. Big mistake.

They forget NOT to say anything is also a choice that you are accountable for as you actively made the decision to keep quiet. They forget NOT to do something is a powerful statement that often reveal a lot more than what you are trying to hide or avoid. I call it, The Disappearing Act.

At the end of the day it is lovely if you have strong beliefs, but if they are not reflected in your behaviour no one will ever know, care or remember. Just as scary, no one will be able to help you or change things for the better.

I think this is where my head gets stuck. How can you be so short sighted to think things won’t or can’t change? If you are not happy with the offer and you don’t communicate your concerns, how will anyone know? Do you think it is fair to take the opportunity away from others that might be able to improve the situation?

You never have to suffer alone. A lot of our daily stress levels can be managed by sharing the load. You don’t have to be a superhero; you just have to be courageous through your actions, your words and equally your silences and lack of action. This doesn’t mean you always have to be on top of your game and steering your life like a ship.

It is ok to say you are confused, scared of making the wrong decision or even just to say you don’t feel like talking right away, but you are available in a couple of hours when you had time to digest the information. People fail and people succeed. And your true character will show in how you handle both situations.

It is ok to say you are confused, scared of making the wrong decision or even just to say you don’t feel like talking right away, but you are available in a couple of hours when you had time to digest the information.

Challenge yourself this week to speak up and to step up. You owe it to those around you. And you owe it first to the one if will affect most, you. Don’t always choose to take the known path of things that are comfortable and safe.

Don’t disappear.

 

About Liani Mare

Adventure and a sense of humor drives me! I’m a recruiter, a triathlete, a traveler, a writer and I like talking. I believe in being brave and honest no matter what it takes. I also believe you always need something to look forward to. Sometimes I’m a little bit jealous of myself – that’s how happy I am. I admire endurance, commitment and people that live their lives authentically. I’m Afrikaans but I also have a Mandarin and a Zulu name. What’s your story? Connect with me on LinkedIn.


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